Only if You Want Me To
by Rinkster27
Summary: Merlin finds an old sheet of paper containing a spell on it. When he does the spell, the man of the hour walks in and sees him. How will Arthur react? Magic!reveal


It was a clear and starry night and Merlin sat with his back facing the door. He stared out blissful into the sky as he dreamt of simpler times. The past where Merlin would use his magic to make Hunith's flowers grow bigger or when Will would joke around and throw rocks and Merlin and he would turn them into butterflies. The future where he would stand by Arthur with his Court Sorcerer robes on as Arthur lifts the ban on magic and Arthur would accept him. Simpler times and better times were always on Merlin's mind.

Merlin drifted in and out of silent thoughts. Like the first time he saw Freya. She was beautiful. Her eyes and her smile is what Merlin loved the most about her. Balinor crossed his thoughts along with Will. His "old life" is what Merlin called it. The life filled with happiness, joy, and belonging. As his thoughts drifted, Merlin didn't even feel the soft and glistening tears that started to stream down his face. Merlin was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't hear the sudden sound of his bookshelf suddenly crack and a huge book fall on the floor.

Merlin was jolted out of his thoughts. At first he thought that he was being attacked, so he threw up his hands with a defensive look on his face. Merlin jumped off of his perch and gently picked the book off of the floor. Happiness filled Merlin as he read the title of the book. _To the Moon: Ways to Touch the Stars._

"I used to love this book as a kid," Merlin thought. "Will would always pick spells for me to do. I remember that like it was yesterday."

Merlin smiled to himself as he picked up the book to place it on the shelf. A white sheet of paper caught his eye as he flipped the book to that page. The page was beautifully decorated with stars and constellation. A golden border of stars surrounded the outside of the page. Written in cursive in the center of the page was _aethrine se heofoncandel._ Merlin became very nostalgic as he remembered that this was the last spell that he showed Hunith and Will in Ealdor before he left for Camelot. For good times sake, Merlin took the page and perched himself on his windowsill and let his mind wander.

* * *

For Arthur Pendragon, another day sitting alone was nothing out of the ordinary. He would think about how his father would think of his ruling, how his mother would think, and was is his fault the Morgana turned. These thoughts were part of a daily routine. He would think about his mistakes and never be fully aware of his surroundings. Arthur sighed into his hands and figured he should go take a walk to clear his head. He had no destination in mind. He just wanted to let his mind wander.

As Arthur walked the halls of his castle, he felt more alone than he had been in years. With Guinevere sick with a bad and contagious case of the flu and Leon, Percival, and Gwaine gone on patrol, he hasn't been able to talk to someone besides Merlin for a solid week. Merlin wasn't that bad to talk to, but lately he's avoided his eye contact. Arthur never pried Merlin for information, but he really wanted to know why. Merlin even called him _sire_ five times today. That was a new record that out beat the old record by two. Arthur wanted to talk to someone, so he went to his best friend, Merlin.

* * *

Merlin sat and let his mind wander as he sat perched on his windowsill. He still held the paper with the spell in his hand. Merlin finally gave into his temptation and whispered a spell so quietly that it was barely audible.

Almost instantly the light from the stars above flew into his room and danced. They were a beautiful mix of light blue and purple colors. They were shaped as perfectly round spheres. Merlin could control them and make shapes. Mellin formed hearts and circles and even his own name. For the first time since the Morgana incident, he smiled a true smile of pure happiness and the tears that were on his face before were long gone. Merlin was happy.

As he watched the stars dance around him, Merlin didn't notice the slow creaking of his door opening and Arthur Pendragon's head peak in. Merlin was to caught up staring that the stars that Arthur took several more steps into the room before a old wooden floorboard cracked. Merlin turned around with a start and saw the one face that Merlin didn't want to see. Arthur Pendragon.

Merlin spun around with a start and the stars, that were just beautifully dancing around his room, were extinguished. Merlin fell off his perch and stared at Arthur. Etched into his eyes was pure fear. He was shaking. Merlin was terrified. Merlin dropped his gaze to the floor. He resented himself. How could he have been so careless! Arthur knows…..Arthur knows…. _Arthur knows!_

Without warning, Arthur charged forward at Merlin and punched him. Hard. The strike of the blow was enough to stagger Merlin backwards. Blood gushed instantly from the wound. Merlin dried it with his handkerchief and fell to his knees in front of his king. Merlin felt the gaze of Arthur stabbing him. Arthur bent down and grabbed rope and tied Merlin's hands together. Arthur finally broke and yelled,

"Why? Merlin, why! You're a sorcerer! A bloody sorceror! When were you planning on telling me? Everything about you is a _lie!"_ Arthur paused and gathered his thoughts before he added quietly,"Why did you never tell me?"

Merlin was trembling at the feet of his king. Tears poured out and he was trying with all of his might to not break down and sob and _beg_ Arthur to let him stay. Eventually Merlin answered,

"Your majesty please, I never would hurt you please. I have never used my magic for evil and I never will. Please sire, please sire."

"Don't call me that, Merlin. Just answer my questions."

Merlin answered back quietly," Anything for you, Arthur. Anything."

Arthur stared at the figure at his feet and asked his first question. "When did you start practicing... _magic? "_ He said it like a swear word that his father would beat him for using because the Crown Prince did not use foul language.

"I was born with it, Arthur. I can't help but have magic anymore than you are royalty. I had no choice in the matter. I was born out of the unbalance left by the Great Purge. All of the magical being's magic was thrust into me when I was born. I am destined for great things, Arthur. I was born to protect you." Merlin said all this with a depressed look on his face. He knew Arthur would ask this question, he has only known him for ten years.

Arthur considered his answer and posed another question, "Why did you come to Camelot? You knew you would have been killed on the spot if you were found."

Merlin finally looked Arthur in the eyes. He slowly inhaled and answered quietly, "To protect you. I was born to protect you. I am the protector of the Once and Future King."

Arthur inhaled sharply and whispered, "It's you, you're Emrys. I knew there was something special about you Merlin."

"I was born to protect you, sire. Whatever you plan to do with with me, I will follow like a sheep lead to the shearers. I will not act against you ever. The one thing that I ask is that if you will not accept me, do not banish me, just kill me. You are my purpose for life. If I leave you unprotected and you were to get harmed, it would cause me so much grief and sorrow. I have always been protecting you, sire. I have always been there. You are a great man, Arthur Pendragon and I hope you find it on your heart to forgive me. Please forgive me. I am so very sorry."

Merlin lowered his gaze to the floor and sat motionless on the floor. He used all of his strength to keep himself from bursting into tears and sobbing. The effort was making him shake even more and it was only a matter of time before he broke. Merlin took a sharp intake of breathe as he felt warm hands grab his bound hands and pull him to his feet. Arthur held Merlin's bound hands tightly. Merlin wouldn't look at Arthur. He was afraid of what he would see. Arthur went to grab Merlin's chin and Merlin did something that Arthur has never seen him do before. Merlin _flinched_ at Arthur. He realized that Merlin was shaking like a leaf. Did Merlin thought that he would hurt him?

"Merlin look at me. I am not going to hurt you. You are my best friend. I would never think that you are evil. Will you get rid of the rope? I don't have my dagger on me."

"Only if you want me to, sire." Merlin whispered, fear laced his voice.

"Please do it Merlin. I will not hurt you."

Arthur watched as the eyes of his friend turn a bright, solid gold and the rope fall off of Merlin's hands with ease. Merlin and Arthur sat there for what seemed like hours. Merlin not looking into his king's eyes because of fear, but Arthur gently smiled down on him. Arthur went to grab Merlin's chin again and this time Merlin let him. Merlin's eyes were blue, but fear surrounded them.

"I forgive you, Merlin. You are my best have no reason to fear me. I have always felt that a guardian angel watches over me everyday, and I know it's true. I know that you would never use it against me or Camelot. I am so sorry for hitting you, it was just my first reaction. But know that I will never harm you, ever. I care too much for you. I forgive you."

At that point, Merlin lost it. The feelings of fear and happiness exploded out of him at once. Tears streamed down his face and Arthur reached out gently to Merlin and Merlin fell into his arms. He cried out his feelings of fear, doubt, and happiness. Among his cries Merlin whispered quiet, I'm sorrys to Arthur. Merlin cried because of all the people he lost and all of the times that he almost got caught. They stood there for hours. Finally, Arthur grabbed Merlin's shoulders and said,

"Can you finish that spell? It was so pretty, Merlin."

"Only if you want me to, sire." Merlin said with sill a hint of fear.

"Merlin! For god sakes don't call me that. My friends call me Arthur, you know."

"Only if you want me to _Arthur_."

"That's why I asked, you idiot!"

Merlin turned around towards the window and whispered the spell once more. The same stars flew into the room and danced around Merlin. Merlin turned around to see Arthur smiling and touching one of the stars.

"This is beautiful, Merlin. I have one more request for you. Will you be my court sorcerer?"

Merlin cracked a huge smile and he knew what his answer was going to be. Arthur waited for his answer as Merlin looked at his and said,

"Only if you want me to, prat!"


End file.
